A list of infinitives (during a week of miraculous virtual encounters with Martina Evans, Raymond Antrobus, Colette Bryce and Cathy Sweeney)

To strip language (Simone Weil, Fanny Howe, Kay Ryan)
To make it hold (Kay Ryan)
To make it whole
To make it holy (or know that it is, already)
To slow it down
To slow down
To forget it
To remember the body
To let the body speak
To mishear (and misread)
To practice
To decontaminate it (M. NourbeSe Philip)
To grind it down
To love it (before the disaster)
To love it (after the disaster)
To work with(in) the distrust
To make anew, not “new”
To recombine (because everything that is not _____ is fragmented)

All day long I have been preparing to write a sentence (The sentence is nonsense).
Raymond Antrobus has two notebooks: one is for anything at all; the other is for the archivists (I say this with admiration).
How on earth can I get close enough to the dissertation, when I can hardly trust language enough to write about distrust of language? (Thinking some more about M. NourbeSe Philip)
When I write language, do I mean written words? Spoken words? Heard words? Signs? Is non-verbal language included? (I already had these questions, but Raymond Antrobus reading of THE PERSEVERANCE made them sharper).
I am very tired of my mind. It doesn’t work. Or it is working towards something I don’t understand.

Raymond Antrobus, THE PERSEVERENCE
NoubeSe Philip, Interview with an Empire
Kay Ryan, Backward Miracle